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How to encourage children to do better when you know they can?
To encourage your child to do better is by ensuring your child is aware of your expectations. This can be done visually or verbally.
However, this must be done in a healthy way. For example;
- Make sure your expectations are realistic and achievable.
- Have photos or write an example of your expectation for your child to refer to.
- Give them 3 or 4 points on how to achieve your expectations
- Praise children for the progress not the outcome.
Setting expectations for children can be toxic if you do not have a realistic goal in mind; only focus on the outcome and set unrealistic expectations.
What to do when positive parenting doesn’t work?
Positive parenting always works. To be quite clear, positive parenting is parenting that does not rely on psychological or emotionally damaging behaviours. It’s not that positive parenting isn’t working, it’s the technique you are using. Yes, I know it sounds crazy! However, when your strategy isn’t working go back and discuss it with yourself.
Things to question:
What does my child need to learn at this point?
Is this matter important?
Can it be dealt with better at a later date?
What am I doing to escalate this situation?
One of the few times you should just follow your gut instinct if your child is in danger.
How to implement boundaries?
The way to implement boundaries is to set down your values first. What is important for yourself and your child to learn and grow up with? Then use these values to create rules and consequences for not following them. Only implement consequences if a child has made the choice of breaking the rules and understand the decision they have made. If your child does not understand their actions then you need to explain to them how and why they need to make a better choice.
What do you do with the angry child who hits?
An angry child who hits needs to be taught calming strategies. It is never a good idea to talk to a child while they are angry (I’ve been punched in the face for making this choice). The best way to approach the situation is to say ‘’You are not ready to talk right now. When you are ready you can come back and speak to me calmly.’’ and if they are small enough, carry them take them to a separate room to calm down or walk away. If they decide to make a mess in their rage, ensure you give them responsibility for tidying everything up once they are completely calm.
Any normal person wouldn’t try to reason with an angry person. Children should learn that anger isn’t the best way to communicate. I wouldn’t panic too much if your 2 – 5-year-old is always angry. It usually stems from struggling to communicate and process their emotions. Keep calm and consistent if you handle the storm now it will soon calm.
One of the most rewarding things about supporting children’s development is seeing their progress. When you see a child grow and learn to communicate it’s the most rewarding feeling. I would say to you all that struggle, sweat, tears and frustration will end well if you’re ready to brave the storm.
The best moments are when they start lecturing you about the strategies you taught them.
”It’s okay to be angry mama but remember we have conversations not shouting!”
How to address the strong will child?
My first advice for dealing with a strong-willed child is ‘’Pick your battles!’’ You have to approach the situation with the strategy in mind so you don’t lose emotion. Here is one way to deal with a strong-willed child!
Scenario: A strong-willed child is playing at the park and it’s time to go home.
Plan: Remind the child a few times before it is time to go home.
Strategy: Use a timer on your phone to show them it is counting down.
Choice: Let’s go home and we can have a story before bedtime or We can say bye to grandma on our way home. Which one do you want?
Lay out the consequences: You can argue with me and we still have to go home and it will make you very upset or we can go home calmly and choose a story or visit grandma’s.
Stick to it: Finally stick to your word! Don’t give in! After a few weeks theyll realise you mean business and life will be much easier!
How to get back into routine when boundaries have been forgotten?
- This is a common occurrence!
- Give yourself part of the day to regather yourself. (Early Morning or Late at night, whatever works for you)
- Re-write your rules, consequences and assess your values and your old routine.
- Get the children involved in explaining the rules and routine
- Stick to your rules and consequences to the T!
It’s okay to start again, the children settle back into the routine and boundaries much quicker than the first time! Don’t forget that it might just be that your old routine doesn’t work anymore due to changes in circumstances!
I hope this blog post helps your child on their learning journey! If you want to be notified about more blogs like this. Place your email in the subscription box below and leave a comment if you want me to review any other homeschool resources.
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